“She has dementia”

I lost something….

I started noticing something had changed. She used to take good care of my kids. Now when I came home, I saw that they had been eating candy and junk food all day. When I asked her if she had made them lunch, she couldn’t remember.

Everything else seemed normal. This was the only sign of dementia, but I wasn’t thinking “dementia” back then. I thought she was just getting old and tired of cooking.

I remember it was very, very cold out that day. I wrapped my old big coat around me and went back out to meet a friend. I had had this coat from the time I was a teenager, and I felt kind of like a lost teenager, wrapped up tightly in the coat again. My friend took one look at me and asked me whether I had lost something.

I did feel like I had lost – not some thing but some one. This was the beginning of the end.

No hot meal……

She used to cook macaroni and meatballs or hamburger pot pie or steak pizziaola when we would come to visit. She would make a coffee cake. She would  stock up the refrigerator with hummus and cucumbers for her granddaughter,  and buy skittles for her grandson. She used to have charge of the kitchen, she was antsy if we helped ourselves.

I started noticing that she never cooked for us anymore. But it was more than that, there was nothing in the refrigerator either. No leftovers. No hummus and cucumbers. Just some cheese and fruit, maybe a dish of broccoli.

I had the feeling that he was doing all the food shopping now. I suspected he liked it that way, because he could limit the amount of money spent. They always had enough money, more than enough, but he never felt free about spending it. I understood why he would want to do the food shopping alone. But I couldn’t understand why she would go along with that plan. It was not like her at all.

Were they having financial difficulties? I wondered.

Copyright 2013 Lisa C. DeLuca. It is unlawful to duplicate or publish this content on the web or in print or in any form except for personal use. For permission to reprint please contact the author at LisaCDeLuca (at) gmail.com.

For more on this topic click here: Momentary Rant from the Sandwich Generation


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